Last night, as the day (which happened to be my birthday) was closing, I felt a little bad.
I realized I have issues with ends. I fear the end of an opportunity. I anticipate the end of summer and the feeling like I didn’t live it up to all the hopes I had for it. I feel like time slips away while I desperately try catch up (funny thing is, that happened right now as well, as I was trying to find the right music, decide whether I want dim lights or bright sunshine, and settle down on either the couch or the bed, all before my coffee got cold).
My birthday on the whole was pretty good. But that positivity I had in the morning had faded as night approached. It gave that slight hopeless feeling of an end, which marked the finality of what I will remember as my 20th birthday. So I realized, well, why not make tomorrow morning as positive as today’s morning? What is stopping me? I don’t have to confine my birthday to one 24-hour span. I can just wake up and start with as much excitement at the first day of being 20 years old—Woah. That just hit me. I am actually in my twenties now. That’s something else now. I guess it suddenly makes me feel like I can’t rely on situations or other people anymore to make me happy. It has to come from within. Which also means that it hopefully won’t be as fickle and based on petty things.
SO, here is to me celebrating my Twenties! I’m finally settled down with the correct lighting and enough pillows, sipping on coffee, and eating a red-velvet cupcake that I got for my birthday (Did I mention the cupcake is absolutely DIVINE. Best red velvet I have ever eaten). Perfect for starting the day on a positive note. But, I want to make one resolution: regardless of whether I get to be as comfy as I am right now or whether I have coffee and cupcakes, I will be as positive. Because many times the perfect seat, perfect acoustics, perfect lighting, and perfect drink are beyond my control, and if they don’t align with my taste, I get annoyed. Which is such a waste of a happy moment. Let my happiness come from within.
SO cheers to positivity, happiness, love, and good music! 😀